I Pushed Him Away
by SeaSpectre160
Summary: Mick and Sara take a moment to grieve. Post-'Destiny'. Eleventh in 'Long Way Home'.


**Alright, folks, I know this isn't the fix-it I've been promising, but I needed to get this one out of the way first. They both fall in the same continuity as 'Dear Lisa' and 'Protector', in a series I have not yet come up with a name for. The fix-it, called 'Detour', will be up by June 18th (this Saturday) at the latest. Still, here's something to hold you over until then.**

 **DISCLAIMER: I don't own Legends of Tomorrow or any other part of the Arrowverse.**

 **WORD COUNT: 1995**

* * *

Tear-filled eyes sprang open, and she shot out of bed with a strangled scream, not for the first time that night. Nobody was sleeping easy after one of their own had been killed in a fiery explosion, had sacrificed his life for theirs. No matter how hard she tried to sleep, every time she shut her eyes she was plagued with visions of his body being consumed by blue flames, his screams of agony striking her heart.

She was scared and exhausted, to the point that she wasn't thinking clearly. It was a secret kept between the two of them, but Sara sometimes went to Leonard when the Pit dreams were becoming too much. He rarely offered her words of comfort; they both knew it wasn't his thing. She would just talk, and he would listen, solid and non-judgmental company, respecting the hell she'd been through and the fact that she was still even remotely sane after it all. Her feet traced the familiar path to his room, but froze upon entry, upon seeing his bed still empty, a deck of cards sitting next to it. The same deck he'd been carrying when he'd approached her in her room and confessed his feelings for her, in his own roundabout way.

Her heart broke again as her own response to that came back to her. She turned to leave, feeling like an intruder on sacred ground, when a flash of blue caught her eye.

Draped over his desk chair was his blue parka. She hadn't seen him wearing it since Star City 2046, and had never gotten around to asking him why. Slowly, she shuffled over and picked it up, feeling the rough material of the outer shell against her calloused palms. Another sob racked her body, her tears making dark spots on the blue fabric. Exhaustion washed over her, and she stumbled over to his bed, curling up on top of the blankets and wrapping the parka around herself.

It smelled like him. It brought back memories of the kiss, the one that should not have been their first and only.

* * *

Sara wasn't the only one who couldn't sleep. All Mick could think about was how the scrawny kid he'd saved nearly thirty years ago was gone. All that was left of him were the scant belongings he left in his room, the Cold Gun, and the ring Mick had later found in his pocket. The gun was still sitting out on the bridge, where Sara had lain it reverently after they'd made their escape on the Waverider. The pinkie ring was sitting in Mick's bedside table, continuously drawing his eyes in its direction like a magnet.

It should have been him. Mick had been ready to give his life to end the bastards who'd been screwing with it for so long. He didn't have the right to carry that ring around. It symbolised their partnership, something that he'd failed by letting Snart die.

The small, logical part of him said that he hadn't _let_ Leonard do anything; the bastard had conked him on the head and left him with no say in the matter. Mick told that part of him to shut the hell up.

Unable to take any more of it, he got out of bed, scooped the ring up, and went to put it back where it belonged.

He expected the door to be closed, the room empty. But the door to Leonard Snart's room was wide open, revealing the small figure huddled on his bed, wrapped in what Mick recognised as his partner's trademark parka.

Long blonde hair identified the person as Sara, not that that was much of a surprise. Mick had started noticing something going on in Star City 2046 (the last time Leonard had worn that parka); his partner wouldn't have been so worried about Rip getting hunted down by Wilson's men, except for the fact that they'd need him to get out of that era. But he hadn't stressed that when he'd made his case to Mick; he'd said "They're gonna kill our friends". Rip wasn't a friend. It was Sara he'd been worried about. It was Sara that he'd wanted to save. When Mick had nearly killed her during the space pirate incident (something he still couldn't believe she'd forgiven), and Snart had come running to her rescue, well, that had confirmed it in Mick's mind: Leonard Snart had fallen for Sara Lance.

With hindsight, it was obvious that he'd started falling the second she'd snapped that asshole's wrist in St. Roch, but it'd taken him a lot longer to figure that out than it had taken Mick. Leonard could easily understand and use other people's emotions for his own benefit, but when it came to his own, he was utterly clueless, which was half the reason why he kept them locked down so tightly.

Chronos had been planning to take advantage of that. Had he not been defeated at Nanda Parbat, he would have killed the rest of the team and brought Sara in front of Leonard to make him watch her die before even starting with Lisa. Mick was so relieved, now, that it hadn't gone that way. Now the thought of hurting either of the women who held Leonard's heart in their hands made Mick feel horribly nauseous and disgusted, and not just because they were important to him, as well. Lisa was nearly as much his baby sister as she was Leonard's, and Sara had proven to be a good friend who respected him for who he was, who went out of her way to help the two partners mend their relationship.

A sudden tremor from Sara's body suggested that she might be awake, or that she was having a nightmare. Everyone on the ship had nightmares; after all they'd seen and been through both during and before this whole adventure, they all had something that could keep them up at night. A choked sob came from her, and Mick wasn't sure if he should leave or just drop off the ring now.

But then Sara bolted upright with a cry, the parka falling off her shoulders at the sudden movement. She looked around the room wildly, breathing heavily, until her eyes landed on Mick. Gradually, her breathing slowed back to something closer to a normal rate, and she looked around and seemed to recognise her surroundings.

"I'm sorry," she muttered, her voice shaking, "I-I shouldn't be in here. I'll go."

She made to slide off the bed, but Mick stopped her. "It's okay, Blondie. You don't have to explain yourself to me. And he wouldn't mind." He held up the ring. "I just came to put this back."

"His ring," Sara whispered, "The one from your first job together."

"He told you about that?"

"Just today. Before we escaped the hanger to rescue you guys."

"He stuck it in my coat pocket right after knocking me out. He knew he wasn't coming back."

"I know. I saw it when he told me to get you out of there." She shuddered. "I should have stopped him."

"How? By knocking him out and taking his place? You would have been left with me _and_ him out cold on the floor with no one to drag us to safety, and all three of us would have died. You did what you had to do, Sara." He was grateful that she'd brought him back to the ship, but he knew she wasn't in the mood for thanks. He wouldn't be, if it were him. So instead he just sat down next to her, letting her lean against him.

"I just wish I'd said something different," she whispered, staring at the abandoned cards, "If I'd known he was going to die in an hour, I wouldn't have…"

"Wouldn't have what?"

"…Before we reached the Wellspring, he came to my room and started talking about how he'd been wondering what the future had in store for us… 'Us' as in _me and him_. Together. I'm pretty sure that was some sort of confession, coming from him."

Mick blinked. He hadn't been aware that Leonard had finally gotten the guts to tell Sara how he felt, even in his own 'I don't do feelings' way. "What did you say?"

"'If you want to steal a kiss from me, Leonard, you'd better be one hell of a thief.'" She sniffed. "Then I just walked away. I pushed him away, Mick, and I can _never take that back_. I'll never be able to tell him how much he meant to me, never!"

"I get that." Leonard had stuck with him more or less consistently throughout their three decades of partnership. Even when they had their rough patches and went their separate ways, it had always been Leonard who'd come back and offered his trust, something that Mick had failed more than once, especially recently. God only knew where Mick would be right now if it weren't for Leonard's cool head keeping him out of trouble (well, out of more trouble).

"I was afraid of what might happen, if I said yes. If I'd admitted that I felt the same way, except I don't think I even understood how I felt until he was about to die." Her tears started running down Mick's arm, but he said nothing. "I should have at least said something to him then. But there was no time. So I kissed him goodbye and I left him. One kiss, that's all we're ever going to have."

After those earlier confessions, Mick wasn't all that surprised to hear about the kiss. Because her feelings for Leonard had been about as obvious as his feelings for her, and what else could she have done in the mere seconds she'd had left with him? He was just glad they'd at least managed to get to that point.

* * *

Sara sniffed, wiping tears from her eyes. She hadn't meant to use Mick as a confidant, to tell him about her and Leonard, but she'd needed to tell _someone_ , and if anyone deserved to know what was going on between them, it was his best friend of three decades.

They sat in silence for a while, when suddenly something shiny came into her field of vision. "You should have it."

Mick was holding the ring out to her. She looked up at him in shock.

"But… he gave that to you. It's from your first job together."

"I know, I was there. But it won't fit me, and I really think he'd want you to have it."

"I-"

"He loved you, Sara. I think he loved you since you beat up that asshole in St. Roch. And Leonard Snart doesn't let people in. If he came to you with a confession, he really meant it."

"I'm not sure if that makes me feel better or worse."

Mick went on. "If he'd lived through this… I think he would've been thinking of giving one of you one of these someday. It's only fair that you get this one instead."

"Mick, I can't, I-"

"Please. I really believe he'd want this."

Sara swallowed back a fresh wave of tears and took the ring from Mick with shaking fingers. It was too big for her own pinkie, but it fit perfectly on her right ring finger. She looked back up at the bigger man. "Thank you."

THE END


End file.
